Abortion and A Woman's Soul

My thoughts today have nothing to do with the President’s nominee to the Supreme Court or with how he might affect the Roe v. Wade decision. I’m not writing about what I believe to be the very sad, fragile and even political state of human life in our nation. Neither will I discuss the act of abortion as murder. Instead, I want to take a moment to consider abortion as a reflection of the deception and destruction that have invaded woman’s soul.

Every woman, whether or not she ever becomes a mother, is born with the emotional and physical capacity necessary to become one. Every woman has the capability to be a mother. She may be one to her neighbors, to her colleagues or to her friends. I’m not talking about controlling or smothering, although those can be the negative characteristics that accompany the “gift” of motherhood. There is a birthing and a nurturing that, like it or not, comes with the package of being a woman. It may not be obvious in all women. It is sometimes injured because of damaging relationships. But, it’s there.

Once a woman actually gives birth to a child, even the least “nurturing” women find a new, or deeper, maternal side to themselves. I have never had a child. But, I have watched many of my independent, driven and seemingly non-maternal friends be transformed after 9 months of carrying a child in their bodies. It’s miraculous. Nothing becomes more important, more treasured or more loved than this helpless, self-absorbed, non-productive baby. None of that registers compared to the desire to love and care for the child.

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, And have no compassion on the son of her womb?" Isaiah 49:15 (The Bible)

The question above in its context is a rhetorical one. That is, it is a virtual impossibility for a woman to forget her nursing child or, God forbid, lack compassion for the son (or daughter) of her womb. Impossible. Of course she can't.

It breaks my heart that what is meant as a rhetorical, no-brainer question has become so common that Los Angeles car chases get more air time on the nightly news than the millions of unborn children whose lives are terminated every year in our country. The unnatural has become commonplace.

What’s worse is that it is women, not men, who are the most vocal proponents of abortion. We are appalled by the barbarity of ancient societies leaving their young on a wall, so as to ensure their death and of the Chinese government’s control of the number of children a family is allowed. But, our streets are full of women’s rallies and protests for the “right” to destroy the children.

What has become so injured, so distorted in a woman’s soul as to deceive her to destroy her own child?

I believe there’s much more to be said about this than I can write in one post. However, I believe that there are two primary factors that have contributed to this devastation.

One factor in the deception and destruction of a woman’s soul is the marriage of value and identity to work, specifically work outside the home. This was a failed attempt by feminists to affirm women. The reasoning was that if a woman can do anything a man can, then she should. While I agree that women are more than capable of doing what men can do, and often better, it’s silly to think that it’s what would be most fulfilling.

Check out the women’s section in your local bookstore. You’ll see titles like, When Work Doesn’t Work Anymore and And What Do You Do? as evidence of the failure of the workplace to satisfy the longings of a woman’s soul. But, as she has felt the burden to be someone valuable and important, the vision of changing diapers at home is relegated to slavery. The slave master, then, is the demanding child. How, then, could having a baby compare with the corner office? Placing more value on corporate position than in life-giving power is indicative of the emptiness produced by that feminist lie.

The other is the divorce of sex and commitment. The sexual revolution and the feminist movement may have convinced the world that women are just like men in every way. It is simply not true. That hurt and rejection accompany sex without marriage is hardly worth debating. Ask someone who has experienced it, or simply watch re-runs of Friends if you’re not convinced. I believe that the separation of sex and commitment has had harmful effects on both men and women. But, we’re talking about women today. Suffice it to say that having the most intimate and vulnerable of relationship without the stability, protection and provision of commitment places women in a very unnatural state. So unnatural as to lead a woman to do the unthinkable.

So, how can a woman forget, lack compassion or even terminate the life of her child? Only the wounded state of a woman’s soul could explain such barbarity.


At 7/25/2005 09:29:00 AM, Blogger Mark said...

you have made points that I have never seen about this issue. My own beliefs about abortion came about as the result of a personal spiritual jouney. I can never argu the point with a pro choce advocate without trying to bolster my argument with scripture, and when you are talking to a pro choicer, that never works, because, you see, in order to believe that it's ok to kill unborn babies one has to believe That scriptures are a matter of interpretation at best or completely fiction at worst.

2 scriptures helped convince me. the first was when God said, "before I formed you in the womb, I knew you". the other was the story if when Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth and when Elizabeths unborn child heard the news that Mary was pregnant with the son of God, he lept with joy in her womb. Yhose 2 scriptures changed my mind. God changed my heart.

At 7/25/2005 09:38:00 AM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

Mark, I believe that many people would testify to the same thing. Ultimately, this is a heart issue. And, the heart of man (and woman) is not changed through reason.

About scripture, what I'm impressed by in the Isaiah reference is that it's not about being religious or having faith. The way it's stated has everything to do with human nature and even logic. In reality, if I'd written out the same quote and attributed it to someone else--almost anyone else--no one would flinch because we realize the truth in it.

I believe that we all recognize a woman's decision to terminate her own pregnancy as unnatural.

At 7/25/2005 12:23:00 PM, Blogger mlwhitt said...

Wow, what a well thought out posting Lores.

My wife has a baby on the way and there is NO WAY I can comprehend how someone could think that baby isn't alive or have just as much right to live as anyone else.

What gets me about the liberal left is that they constantly cry about "human rights", yet the most basic human right, "the right to be born" they completely throw out the door.

At 7/25/2005 01:39:00 PM, Blogger Daffy76 said...

That was extremely well-said. You have a new fan.

I have to laugh when I hear pro-choicers present the argument that a mother's life is more important than her baby's. Once a woman has experienced motherhood, there is NOTHING more important to her than her baby.

It's good to see someone that understands how God truly created women. We are life-givers, nurturers. It's so sad to see us reduced to anything else.

At 7/25/2005 02:25:00 PM, Blogger fetzer said...

Wow. What a thoughtful and articulate response to the abortion epidemic in this country. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

At 7/25/2005 03:40:00 PM, Blogger Poison Pero said...

Excellent post. It (seems like the Loony Libs insistence on making the Court nomination into a battle over abortion is bringing out the best in many people.

What we must do is work on turning the vocabulary.....Pro-Choice is illigitimate.

Pro-Death, Anti-Fetus, Prenatal Holocaust, etc., are much more legitimate.

It isn't a matter of personal freedom, it is a matter of child abuse....Etc., etc., etc.

Plus, we must make the connection between Liberals being Pro-Death for the unborn, but Pro-Life for criminals (the ultimate lunatic fringe).

I've said it a million times, but eventually the American people will awaken to the reality of the situation.......And will right this wrong.

The Nazi's got 9,000,000 Jews and the world only took notice when it was thrust in their face.......You'd think 45,000,000 abortions in 30 years would do the trick, but it hasn't. --> Hopefully we don't have to get to 100,000,000 before we do.

At 7/25/2005 06:06:00 PM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

mlwhitt, you are right. i don't know ANYONE who has seen ultrasound pictures and felt the baby kicking around and doubted life. This morning, Laura Ingraham noted that you never hear anyone say, "I could feel the fetus kicking!" It's ALWAYS a baby!

This may be for another day. But, since you're a dad, I have to say that I also find it interesting that couples will often say "we are pregnant" or make reference to "our baby." However, in the pro-abortion camp, it becomes a woman's body, a woman's choice. Somehow the man involved and the baby whose life is at stake disappear.

daffy76, welcome! and, thank you! i couldn't agree more! it's crazy that in the attempt to find value, we tear down our identity as women.

fetzer and poison pero, thanks guys!

At 7/25/2005 08:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was brutally raped when I was 16. If that wasn't enough, I found out that I was pregnant several months later.

I had an abortion and I am happy that I did. I don't think that a child should be brought into this world when it was made by so much hate.

I think that your stance is a noble one; yet, I think that you really are living a shallow life. Barbarity is being raped of your entire childhood.

At 7/25/2005 08:55:00 PM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

There is no justifying the brutality of rape or incest. I don't pretend to identify with such a violent and degrading experience.

As vicious and disgusting and inexcusable as it is, rape and incest accounts for less than 1% of all abortions performed in the United States. So, as devastating as your experience was, the vast majority of women getting abortions are between the ages of 18-25 and give "convenience," "career" and "independence" as reasons for getting the procedure.

Furthermore (and I'm sure I'll write more about this in a later post), multiple abortion studies show that women (even ones who have been raped) who carry a child to full term actually find quicker and fuller healing, regardless of whether or not they actually keep the child.

Again, no one can feel what you did. I hate that any woman would be subject to such victimization. But, one act of violence cannot justify another one.

At 7/25/2005 10:20:00 PM, Blogger Poison Pero said...

To Anonymous:

I can only speak for myself, but abortion in the case of rape, incest (also rape) and to physically save a woman's life should be legal.......And shouldn't be seen as immoral.

I know I part ways with many here.....But I am not an absolutist on this issue.

If these 3 were the rule, abortion would truly be RARE........A goal realists should strive for.

That said, the abortion you had should have been followed by the termination of the rapists life as well........Rape is every bit the life-stealer as murder is, and should be a capital offense as well.

I am sorry for your suffering, and hope you understand most of us are not speaking out against you or anyone who suffers as you have.

At 7/26/2005 12:27:00 AM, Anonymous Clayton Bell said...

A hard talk to be sure…
I find it difficult to figure out the logic in the abortion argument. I don’t know what we would ever thing is a good reason to abort a child outside it threatening a mother’s life. What “right” does a woman have to her own body that is being violated by abortion?
Me personally, I’m pro-choice. You can choose whether or not to have sex. I think that the government should never attempt to legislate your ability to have, or not have, sex. So you go on and choose, sex or no sex.
Because, of course, you HAVE to know the potential consequences of sex, right? When I was in college and interning at a middle school to finish my education degree I happened to sit in on the sex-ed class. The two people running the class said over and over again “sex makes babies”, and by over and over again, I mean OVER AND OVER AGAIN. So if these middle schoolers were trusted to have the cognitive function to understand what sex is and that it could lead to pregnancy, how can women above the age of 14 claim to not know what would happen?
Because they’re not claiming to be ignorant of the consequences, are they? They want the event without the consequences. What if we allowed that thought process to follow through in other areas of life? What if we allowed the manifestation of anger, selfishness, and lust to have no consequences?
My heart goes out to all those who have been raped and become pregnant as a result; I can’t begin to fathom the pain you would go through. It is a proven statistic that the OVERWHELMING majority of abortions are not performed on rape victims of any variety, so for the sake of debate, I’d be willing to concede abortion in those circumstances. But as someone who will be a father on or around March 6th, I can’t fathom getting rid of that baby for convenience. My wife and I suffered two previous miscarriages and thought this third pregnancy was going to be one as well, and we thought our third was going to be as well (the story is detailed on my website) before things turned around. I just don’t understand it, when people do it because it would alter their lifestyle. Rape, I will concede, is a totally different animal, but when most people refer to abortion, it’s the refusal to change your life based on a decision you made, knowing full well what the potential results will be. It is a sad state of affairs, one that breaks my heart every time I think about it…

At 7/26/2005 05:49:00 AM, Anonymous aj said...

Follow-up to the Laura Ingraham show observation. How many times to you see a pregnant woman walking down the street with a blouse on that says "Fetus" with a arrow pointing downwards??? An unborn child that is loved is a 'baby', where an unwanted unborn child is a 'fetus'.

The use of the word 'fetus' dehumanizes the act of brutality that kills the unborn child.

At 7/26/2005 02:27:00 PM, Blogger Kiki said...

I agree with Clayton Bell. I don't understand why women (and I am a woman myself) make the choice to have sex but don't want the consequences. My long standing argument against abortion has been, you knew what you were doing, now deal with it.

As for abortion and rape, I still can't justify that. My human heart would like to but God gives us things in our lives to overcome and to make us stronger. He also won't give us more than we can handle! Even without the God factor, it is still a human and even if created in hate, someone will love that baby.

At 7/26/2005 03:07:00 PM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

Yes. Everone of us who knows a couple who is unable to have children of their own knows that there is absolutely a place for EVERY child.

At 7/27/2005 04:40:00 AM, Blogger mlwhitt said...

Killing an innocent baby weither because of a rape is still killing. I despise anyone that rapes and think they should be killed "slowly" but still the baby didn't have the choice and didn't choose you to be raped. I have a daugther on the way. I worry day and night about protecting her from the troubles of the world. But as hard on her as it might be, if she was ever in that situation I would tell her the same thing. How can you justify killing an unborn baby just because someone did something horrible to you?

That is like saying "Gee that person was drinking and driving and hit my car, and now I can't walk so how about I break someone else's back to make me feel better." That is a crazy way of thinking.

Or how about this. I was in bad bike wreck a few months ago because the person at the store were I got the bike didn't put it together right. My face is scared and will be for the rest of my life. Just because of that when I see someone on a bike I start thinking of the accident. Does that give me the right to kill all bikers so I don't have to be reminded of what a bad thing happened to me?

Of course since you are so willing to kill an innocent life, I doubt that will sway your opinion. But either way to me you are a killer. Maybe you were wronged, but you still had a choice to let the baby live and you choose not to.

As far as a woman making the choose to get an abortion in a life/death situation, that I don't know about.
I think that should be up to the woman. But as a soon to be father if I knew that giving my life would help secure my baby her place in this world, I would gladly do so. But I do feel that this is the one abortion argueement that to me is not so black or white.

By the way I think women should be required to see an ultrasound before getting an abortion because trust me when you see that ultrasound, all question if it being a "thing" or a "baby human" goes away. When you see that baby and see it move, to me I can't see how anyone could say that it isn't a living human being.

Anyway I am sorry for your past. It makes me SICK literally anytime I hear about a woman being raped or abused. I think it is the third lowest thing humans do to one another. The first being abortion and the second being child molesting in my book.

But we live in a free country, so think what you will.

At 7/28/2005 04:43:00 AM, Blogger Weekend Fisher said...

Hi there

I know I'm not a regular here but wanted to reply to "anonymous". We're in the same boat in some ways, I was raped when I was 14. I did not become pregnant by rape, but I think the argument that "pregnancy by rape is rare" comes within an inch of sweeping it under the rug, which annoys the blazes out of me on general principles. It still happens and we still have to deal with it. I do know someone who was pregnant by rape; she had an abortion as you did.

So how can I be pro-life even in the case of rape? Well, abortion doesn't un-rape you. Doesn't give you your virginity back, or your childhood. Or your parents looking at you without pain in their eyes. And rape doesn't change the fact that what's growing inside is a tiny human being.

I think the people who make it sound like a no-brainer -- "How could you even think of abortion?" maybe have never been paralyzed by the wish to keep something horrifying as a private thing, not to let the whole world know the worst thing that ever happened to you. They have missed the stigma. If you keep the baby, you absolutely positively end up telling everybody you know that you were raped (either that or let everyone think you're a whore). The stigma, the humiliation, it's all out in the open. The pain is excruciating enough without scrutiny and publicity.

If the unthinkable had happened -- if I had been pregnant, would I have had an abortion? I hope not. In my case, it would have amounted to taking a life because I was too cowardly to go public. I have no idea what your motives were, I'm just speaking for myself. I don't think I would have had an easy time forgiving myself for taking another life to hide the stigma and avoid public humiliation. Just another stigma to hide. I think the abortion route would have ended up being harder instead of easier in the long run.

And then some well-meaning people tell me there's nothing to be "ashamed" of. But "shame" has shades of meaning. No, we didn't do anything wrong. But that doesn't take away the stigma.

Anonymous, I can't help thinking about my friend who was pregnant by rape and had the abortion. She turned her back on God after that. It was guilt. She lost more than her childhood, more than her baby. And it may be that I'm speaking words that don't apply to you, just remembering her. But: abortion is not the unforgiveable sin. Don't despair of God's love.

At 7/28/2005 02:29:00 PM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

Weekend Fisher, you are very welcome here. Thank you for the very important insight you've brought.


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