France Raises Terror Alert!

A good friend just emailed this to me. I could not resist posting it! :)

France Raises Terror Alert!

In the wake of the bombings in London, Prime Minister Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from "Run" to "Hide."

There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are "Surrender" and "Collaborate."

The rise was in part precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively crippling its military.


At 7/26/2005 06:04:00 PM, Blogger Layman said...

More French jokes:

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh

Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.

"French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly." —Jay Leno

President Bush and National Security Guard Tom Ridge launched the new Department of Homeland Security, just 24 hours after taking us down to threat level French — I'm sorry, I mean threat level yellow." —Craig Kilborn

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" -- Dennis Miller

Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. One British, one American, one French. They all seem intent on mugging you. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. What do you do?

A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Good day!

And this comment by General George S. Patton:

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."

At 7/26/2005 06:19:00 PM, Blogger Guppyman said...

LMAO.... good stuff!

At 7/26/2005 06:56:00 PM, Blogger Poison Pero said...

I hate to correct you, but they've lowered their terror alert.

They've been at "Collaboration" level for years, and just lowered it to "Hide".

Sad, but true.

At 7/27/2005 12:03:00 AM, Blogger eric cumbee said...

Sacre Bleu!

At 7/27/2005 04:05:00 AM, Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

"...you know frankly, going to war with France is like going deer hunting without an accordian. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind."
-former deputy undersecretary of defense, Jed Babbin on Hardball, January 30, 2003.

At 7/27/2005 04:34:00 AM, Blogger Mark said...

Here is my contribution to the joke thread:
Q. What are you seeing when you see a large group of Frenchmen standing around with their hands in the air?

A. The French army preparing for war.

At 7/27/2005 02:22:00 PM, Blogger Pete said...

Would we care if the French were bombed? Would FOX News even mention it?

At 7/27/2005 02:45:00 PM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

While I admit to having enjoyed these jokes, I hope I can speak on behalf of the others who posted them that we would absolutely care if the French were attacked.

As ridiculous as any government can be, it is ALWAYS a tragedy when innocent people are killed.

At 7/27/2005 05:07:00 PM, Blogger The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Of course...

As frustrated as I may get, I have great affection for France. It's like taking good-natured jabs at a sibling, you know?

At 7/31/2005 11:06:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope this only consists in jokes... just like we make fun of the Americans and their belief that they can't be wrong.

From a friendly Frenchman living in NYC for 7 months!

At 8/01/2005 02:45:00 AM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

Dear Anonymous, yes this is all just good-natured fun.

I hope you're enjoying NY. And, I hope you continue to stop by here. I'd love to get a Frenchman's perspective on the issues!


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