Insightful Humor

A friend emailed this to me recently...

21 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.


At 9/28/2005 06:22:00 PM, Blogger Mark said...

In regards to #21... you mean it's not?

At 9/28/2005 07:03:00 PM, Blogger Lesser_Lumpkin said...

LOL! they got a couple I hadn't though of and that is saying something. I'm gunna have to send a couple of my friends over here to give that a read.

The Lumpy

At 9/28/2005 07:49:00 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Good list. Truth can be funny sometimes.

At 9/29/2005 12:12:00 AM, Blogger Poison Pero said...

I had that same email in my que to post next week.......LOL!

They wouldn't be funny/sad if they weren't so damn true......

At 9/29/2005 12:16:00 AM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

lesser lumpkin, i haven't seen you here before. Welcome!! And, thanks for sending your friends :)

At 9/29/2005 12:21:00 AM, Blogger Mimi in NY said...

Lol! I like your blog L. Very interesting. Can{t figure out where your politics liw.

At 9/29/2005 12:34:00 AM, Blogger Lores Rizkalla said...

Mimi, welcome! A quick stop over at your blog gave me the idea that our worldviews and lifestyles are a bit different. However, you are very welcome here! Thanks for the compliment!

At 10/05/2005 05:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually this is more than a comment. I have long wrestled with the reasoning behind liberal abortion views.I determined that they base their values on person-hood and not life. The fetus has not attained that level to them and is thus dispensible. Ted Bundy was a person (no matter how evil)and deserved a pass. Thank you for the brief summary of the left's beliefs.


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