Public Service Announcements

On Wednesday's program of the Hugh Hewitt Show, Hugh shared a few "Public Service Announcements." I can't remember all of them. However, here are a couple:

1. If someone weighs more than 300 lbs, they should get two seats for price of one on an airplane.
2. In anticipation of the coming Category 5 Rita Hurricane, everyone living in Houston needs to get out. Repeat: get out of Houston.

That got me thinking about some of my own ideas for "Public Service Announcements." Here are a few to start.

1. When having a conversation with another person, please respect personal space. If someone continues to back up slowly, stop taking steps forward. You have committed a personal moving violation.

2. When driving, please remember that your windows are glass, not plywood. So, maintain only manners that would be acceptable in public. The fact that people can't hear you does not keep them from seeing you.

3. Neither are your windows sound-proof. If I can hear your music more clearly than mine, you have committed a noise pollution violation.

4. Mass forwarded e-mails about the latest conspiracy against Christians should be banned...esp. since few of them are true. If you must forward, please check the facts first.

5. When speaking before a group of people (esp. at church) and asking to stand up, please refrain from using the phrase, "Stand to your feet." What are the other options? Hands? Head?

6. (Updated) I could not resist adding this one from my friend Mark: If you are stupid or incompetent, don't run for Mayor of New Orleans or Governor of Louisiana.

I'm sure I'll think of about 10 more after I post this. Maybe we'll revisit this topic periodically. What about you? Any ideas for Public Service Announcements that have yet to be made?


At 9/22/2005 02:13:00 PM, Blogger Jaymeister said...

"When using public restroom facilities, please do not bypass the sink."
- I've seen too many people doing the flush-and-slam.

"Please verify the price of your item BEFORE entering the checkout line."
- It's annoying to have to wait to pay for your bag of salad because some nimrod is arguing over 15 cents.

"On an escalator, stand on the right and walk on the left."
- If the escalator had not been blocked and I'd been able to get up sooner, I'd have gotten into the checkout line ahead of the nimrod.

"The woodchuck migrates in snowy climes."
- Okay, I'll be impressed with whoever gets that reference.

At 9/22/2005 03:33:00 PM, Anonymous Jets said...

On a daily basis please bathe with soap and water. Excessive amounts of perfume are not a substitute for this unless you are in France.

When on the train keep cell phone calls to a minimum and talk in a low voice. Not everyone wants to hear all the details of your date last night

All cars now come with turn signals as standard equipment, please use them for all turns and lane changes.

When parking please stay between the lines. I don't care how much your car cost you still only get one space to park it in.

At 9/22/2005 06:27:00 PM, Blogger Mark said...

When driving on a narrow two lane road on hills and around curves, Please drive at least the speed limit, not 10 mph under! That line of 20-30 cars directly behind you are not there because you're a natural leader.

If you are stupid or incompetent, don't run for Mayor of New Orleans or Governor of Louisiana.

At 9/22/2005 08:11:00 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

To women over 30 who are trying to look 16: For the love of everything good, cover up your belly button and have that stupid tattoo on your lower back removed.


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